Bourgeois Deviant

Monday, September 12, 2005

Sad News

This weekend brought me some very sad news. My father told me that my grandfather is going to die in the next few weeks, if not months. I got that news on Saturday. With each passing day, it upsets me more. This is natural, right? The fact is taking its time to set in. That is part of the process, right? The mind has to adjust to loss. It takes time.

Our brains are muscles, really. I read that in The Art of Happiness and, at the time, I found it to be a great idea and very helpful. H.H. the Dalai Lama and the co-author of the book, Howard C. Cutler arrive at the understanding that the human brain is a muscle that can be trained like any other in the body. If you take the time to condition it, it will be able to adapt better to different situations. For example, if, two years ago, I started meditating on the fact that my grandfather was going to die, I might not be having such a difficult time with this news right now. That might be all well and good to do, but I didn’t do it. So, I am still trying to get my head around it.

But, my sadness is not why I am posting. Sure it is a great outlet, yadda yadda yadda. The most important thing is that, like with any person’s passing, the world is losing someone really unique.

He is a soft spoken man that, to anyone’s knowledge, has never uttered a swear word in his adult life. He is the eldest of several brothers, his youngest brother being nearly my father’s age. He lives in the same town he grew up in and people still know him by his high school knick name. He served in the US Coast Guard during World War II, married to a strong, wonderful woman and raised three great kids that I am lucky enough to have as family. He owned and ran a dry cleaning business called Tip Top Cleaners. He was widowed and in the mid 1970’s he remarried to another incredible woman that I have always known as “Grandma.” All his life, win or lose, he has been a fan of the Green Bay Packers. He loves golf and played every chance he could.

A couple of years ago when he went to the doctor for the first time for an unrelated ailment, it really was for the first time. The doctor discovered that he had no medical record. My grandfather is in his middle 80’s. Now he has just a little time left. The weekend after next, barring unforeseen circumstance, my wife and I are going to visit him in Wisconsin. Time and economy are prohibitive of spending more time than that, but some time is better than no time at all.

More on time and loss in the hours and days ahead.

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